HAPPINESS HELP » Willingness

Depression and Spirituality

Alan A — Thu, 07 May 2009 03:57:33 +0000

Depression comes in many shapes and sizes ranging from mild to severe, from situational to clinical. This post will not focus on the medical aspects of depression such as definitions and diagnosis, as I am not a doctor or mental health professional, but will instead focus on ways of reducing or eliminating depression through spiritual and psychological means based on my experiences.

As I’ve stated many times on this site, I am not a mental health professional and the information that I offer is based on my opinions and experiences. Please read the disclaimer at the bottom of the page for additional information. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s move on

Just to qualify, I used to be depressed. I was depressed off and on for ten to fifteen years. I am happy to say that I am no longer depressed and have not been for about the same amount of time. I cannot possibly tell you in one post how I eliminated my depression and became a happy person, but don’t worry, there is an answer. First, I must say that if you have a problem with alcohol or others substances, please read my post pertaining to this topic.

If you are depressed I would recommend a good psychotherapist to help you get to the bottom of your problems. You probably won’t need to go forever but this may be a necessary step to eliminating your depression. If you don’t need to be there, hopefully the therapist will let you know. Even if you do not have an overwhelming need to be there, psychotherapy can help you to improve yourself in many ways. In regards to medication, again, I’m no doctor but I believe that anti-depressant meds are overused and unnecessary for many. I am sure that some people may truly require such medication but if you go to a psychiatrist and tell him/her that you are depressed, there is a good chance that you will leave with a script. That’s what they do, they prescribe meds and often without therapy. They’ll meet with you for ten minutes per month and keep writing you scripts. If you ask your family doctor for an antidepressant, with a brief explanation, good chance you’ll get your script there as well. Unless absolutely necessary, I do not believe in taking such meds, even if they help, they are still an easy, temporary way out. Just my opinion

So, after all that, what is the answer? What can you do to eliminate your depression and become happy and content? Read every post on this site, as spiritual and psychological work is the answer. Sorry if that disappoints you, but it’s true for me and many others whom I know. The way out of depression is a process and not typically an overnight matter. Happiness comes gradually as the periods of depression become further apart over time. For some, including me, happiness requires constant effort but the results are certainly well worth the effort.

I have written and will continue to write about spiritual and psychological practices and principles that can help you to rid yourself of depression and aid you in your quest for happiness. Every time I write a post, I reconnect with the principles of which I am writing so, as I hope that my writings help others, as that was the premise of this site, I find that I am helping myself as well. An unexpected but welcomed side effect. These principle really do work and not just for me, but for others as well. You have to begin some place and at some time, why not here and now? Be patient and be vigilant. Practice a little every day. Practicing could be reading a post on this site, going to church or a therapist, volunteering your time to help others, praying or reading a self-help book. In time you will find your way, you will find what works for you. Just get started.

Time Takes Time

Alan A — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 06:01:00 +0000

If you are trying to practice the principles outlined on this site in your life, then you may have already discovered that dramatic spiritual and psychological change may take some time. Certainly, we can begin changing immediately but some of the results of our changes will take time. For those of you short on patience who likes to get what they want when they want it, time is probably not one of your favorite words.

Time takes time and there is no way around that. We can choose to fight this simple fact or accept it. How many of you don’t bother to try something because the results are not immediate? If you maintain this attitude in regards to spiritual and psychological change, you may not experience much growth in those areas because short of a spiritual, life changing experience, we need to work at such changes, we need to practice spirituality and right living. Practice by definition implies a lack of immediate and permanent results.

An acronym for time that puts time in perspective is This I Must Earn. When we accept that we cannot change immediately and that some effort will be required to change, we can begin to appreciate time and not be afraid of it. It can actually be quite comforting to know that we do not need to change before tomorrow comes. We have the rest of our time to practice the spiritual life, as long or short as that time may be. Practicing Right Living is what life is all about. Considering that time is limited, I suggest not wasting any of it and getting to work, understanding that the sort of work to which I am referring is enjoyable and rewarding. I find such work to be the most gratifying and important work that I have ever performed.

Time teaches us patience and humility when we realize that we cannot snap our fingers and instantaneously become the people that we want to be. We’ll have to work and wait.

Some Can’t, Some Won’t

Alan A — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 11:13:00 +0000

As much as I would love for the information on this site to help everyone who reads it, unfortunately, there will be those who cannot or will not sincerely put forth the effort necessary to be happy, healthy and at peace. Despite all of the positive information on this site, there will be those who will focus on the reasons why these principles will not work for them as opposed to why they can. Whether they are ignorant to their own misery or they are still holding on to their self-righteous ways, there are those unhappy people who just don’t seem to be able to change.

I don’t know if it’s their fault or they are programmed in such a way that they remain forever stuck in their cycle of unhealthiness, unhappiness and spiritual sickness. I do believe that many people, who may be presently in denial of their shortcomings, can awaken to this fact and change, if they have the desire. I also believe that there is hope of change for many of those who are aware of their unhappiness but do not presently have the ability or desire to change their situation. Eventually, something may click.

There are still those sad cases of people who just do not seem to ever change. Maybe they don’t want to change. Perhaps it’s because they haven’t yet attributed their unhappiness to their unsuccessful way of thinking and living. Or maybe their way hasn’t caused them enough pain yet to give up their way of living. Some may believe that it’s a simple lack of God’s grace. What’s perhaps most unfortunate about these people who remain stuck is the negative affect that they have on others, usually those closest to them.

Simple, Not Easy

Alan A — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 09:56:00 +0000

I suggest, in more than one instance on this site, that being happy is a simple matter and that the principles described here on Happiness Help, are usually quite simple. Sometimes so simple, that you may over complicate the matter and miss the simple point. But, let me make something clear…simple and easy are not necessarily the same thing.

When I suggest something is simple but not easy, I define simple as not complicated and easy as not difficult. So I may suggest a principle or a way of life that is very simple in nature but not easy to implement in your life. The more effort we put into working the spiritual principles set forth herein, the more we will get out of them. Some people may be naturally happy while others may need to work harder at it. It’s called spiritual practice because we actually need to practice these principles in our lives. They don’t just manifest on there own, at least not at the beginning anyway. After a while, what we practice becomes natural and we don’t need to think so much about whatever it is we have been practicing. In other words, we’ve changed!

This change requires effort, it requires work. If we want to change, we need to change. If you want the color of your house to be gray instead of brown, you have to make it happen. You have to change the color. If you want your personality, your reactions and actions to change, you’ll need to change them. Unlike the house analogy, you cannot pay someone else to change you. You must do it for yourself.

Remember, when I suggest something is simple, I do realize that it may not be easy. This site is not only here to read what I write but also so that we may all help each other on this spiritual journey, this path to happiness, by sharing our comments and questions with each other. Getting answers to questions not only from me, but from each other as well. A problem shared is a problem lessened. If you benefit as a result of practicing the principles described on this site, I strongly suggest helping others down the same path by sharing your experiences with them in the appropriate comment forum, which is at the end of every post. I think you’ll find that helping others in this way will be extremely rewarding and beneficial to your spiritual condition.

The Key to Change

Alan A — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 11:20:00 +0000

I would imagine that if you’ve found this site through your own means, there’s a decent chance that you would like to be happier. If someone else sent you a link to this site, then maybe they want you to be happier Do you think it’s possible that you can be any happier? Maybe you are very unhappy now and believe that you’re destined to a life of doom and gloom. Although I do not believe that any of you are alone in your feelings, different readers will be coming from different starting points. So what does it take to be happy anyway? No matter how happy or unhappy you may presently be, if you want to change, there are a couple of key ingredients that you’ll need to possess.

You’ll need willingness or desire and an open-mind, that’s it. If you have the desire to change, I believe that you can change. You may not be able to change everything about yourself but enough that you can be happier. You have a choice, you can read the information on this site and look for reasons why it will not work for you or you can keep an open mind and try to utilize that information to your benefit. Some of you may not be ready to change. No one can give you desire, it must come from within. You may have influencing factors in your life that help you to want to change to be a happier, healthier person, such as a child or spouse, but the willingness has to come from within you. If you are unhappy but do not have the willingness to take suggestions from other sources that may help you to be happier, keep reading anyway, maybe something, someday will eventually click. For those who are unhappy and have been for a while, let me ask you a question….how’s your way working out for you? Why not try another way?

Once you have the willingness to do the work required to be happy, start by finding sources that may help you with your quest, such as this site. Click the “Helpful Links” button at the top of the page for some other sources that may guide you on your path to happiness. You’ll find many self-help books at your local library and bookstores as well as online. I have found that another key ingredient to my happiness is my faith in a Higher Power. I will talk more of this in other posts. So, if you have an interest in improving your relationship with a Higher Power, that’s a great place to start.