We have very little control over much of what occurs in this world but we do have the ability to change ourselves and how we relate to the world and all of its phenomena. So you see, stress is simply created by our inability to cope with life with trust and serenity, and does not actually exist in this life other than within each of us.

Since life doesn’t actually force us to be stressed, as we have already determined that stress does not exist in the world other than within, it would seem as if we have a choice here. We can choose to be stressed or not. Hmmm, let’s see, do I want to feel happy and at peace or do I want to be stressed and miserable? I am choosing happiness!

So much of our pain is self-inflicted because of our inability to deal with life on life’s terms and our ignorance of the ways things are. Simply put, we can either accept life or not. With acceptance comes peace and happiness and when we fight the way life is we suffer. I am not telling you that it is always easy to accept life as it is, but it is the answer to peace, which is an opposite of stress.

Maybe your stress is a result of needing to work a lot to pay the bills and still not having enough money or having no time or money to take a much needed vacation. The answer to living stress free in such cases is still the same… acceptance. We need to accept our lot and not compare our lives to those who have more as that makes acceptance more difficult. Instead, look at those who have less than you and watch the gratitude pour in and the stress melt away. Hey, maybe you do need a break to keep your sanity. Part of living stress free also means that we need to know our limits and try our best to rest when necessary, allowing ourselves to take a break and do something fun. Remember, not everything fun and relaxing costs money. I am guessing that we can all find something to do to take care of ourselves that doesn’t require a lot of time or money.

Sometimes we need to make other life changes if we wish to live stress free. For example, if we cannot afford to pay the mortgage in a large house and this is the cause of our stress, perhaps we need to downsize. We can apply this philosophy to many of the material things in our lives as much of the stress people experience today is self-induced financial stress. So, if need be, remove yourself from situations that you seem unable to accept that are causing you stress, financial or otherwise and always recall the following prayer…

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.*

*A version of the Serenity Prayer adapted by Alcoholics Anonymous and other twelve step programs which was based on Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr’s original version.

Is life complicated or do we just make it so? I believe life is much simpler than we make it. I am sure there will be many of you who are reading this saying to yourselves “life is complicated, what’s he talking about? He doesn’t understand all of the problems I have and they are definitely not simple problems.” If you are thinking along these lines right now or have had similar thoughts in the past, then I say to you, you’re complicating things

We can make life as simple or as complicated as we wish. Some people look at the glass half full and some will see it as half empty. Both views are correct but only one will result in happiness. Seeing our lives as simple or complicated is a similar choice. Which one will you choose? You do have a choice, you know? Sure, we can make our problems bigger and more complicated than they actually are which will surely strip us of our peace and happiness or we can choose to keep life simple.

So, just how do we keep life and all its problems and intricacies simple? Well, it’s simple, of course. I want you to try an experiment right now. Are you sitting? If not, sit. Where are you right now? Literally, where is your but? Look at your surroundings. Are you alone? If not, who is with you? What are you doing at this moment? I will assume that you are reading this post. So, that’s it. This is your life at this moment. What’s complicated about life at this moment? I am not saying that your life is easy but rather that it is simple. All we have is this moment, no more and no less. That’s it. That is all any of us have. How can you complicate this instant, this moment? Life is comprised of a series of moments so all we need to do is live in this moment, no more and no less.

“Yea, but I lost my job and don’t know how I am going to pay the mortgage” or “I have an illness and am very sick” or “I am getting a divorce”. If these or similar are your objections, then I will say it again, I am not saying that your life is easy but rather that it is simple. Even if all these things were true simultaneously in your life, the results of the experiment are still the same. Don’t make life any more difficult or complicated than it needs to be. Just be with this very moment right now. All of your problems may still exist but you can keep them simple by living in this moment as opposed to projecting negatively into the future. For example, “I lost my job and don’t know how I am going to pay the mortgage. I will be on the streets and my credit will be ruined. I don’t know where we will go”. Those may or may not be unreasonable thoughts, but right now in this very moment, does thinking in such a way help? All we can do is the next right thing and then we need to let go of the results and simply live in this moment. Be present to the task at hand as that is all we truly have. How sad it is that we lose so many moments because our minds are elsewhere.

Let’s take this one step further so that we can learn to be happy and at peace in this moment. Are you ready for the big answer? If you want to be happy and at peace in this moment all you need to do is accept this moment as it is. Are you calling me names yet? Listen, I understand that most of us will not be able to practice such philosophies perfectly and that it will most likely take time to develop such a practice. If we were able to hear such truths and immediately practice them with perfection then I wouldn’t need to post any other articles. All of the self-improvement & spiritual teachers would need to find something else to do with their time. So…we practice.

Most of us cannot simply accept life as it is at this moment with perfection which is why I have written many other posts on this site to help you in your quest for happiness.

This post is not intended to be a downer but to get us in touch with reality and hopefully help us to learn to try not to waste precious time arguing, fighting, stressing, complaining or doing anything other than making the most of this moment. It may not be easy to cherish difficult moments of life especially when we lose a loved one but even in such times, we can cherish the moments that we shared with that person and cherish our time remaining with our other loved ones.

At the moments in our lives when we are not dealing with the death of a loved one, we should have a much easier time cherishing the moment. We can be grateful for what we have and not allow life’s trials and tribulations to blind us from what is really important. It is so easy to get caught up in the frantic, stressed out pace of today’s world while not enjoying our blessings. In fact, we allow our daily stressors to make us unhappy and to come between the relationships that mean the most to us.

Maybe it’s not outside forces at all that are impacting our ability to treasure the moment but our own psychological and spiritual conditions. These conditions also impact our ability to handle outside stressors. So, whether you have many outside stressors or not, the answer is the same… take care of your spiritual and psychological conditions, remembering that life is short and to enjoy the moment.

Balance seems to be easier to maintain than to gain back. Once we get going, we may find it difficult to stop until we achieve our goal. So, does this mean we must press on with no balance, getting more miserable by the day because we just cannot stop until we reach our destination? We could choose that path or we could choose the path of spiritual and psychological well-being always keeping them as our top priorities while still pursuing our goals. Sure, it may take a bit longer to achieve our goals but we would certainly enjoy the journey more if we maintained a balance in our lives consisting of time with family and friends, spiritual and psychological practice, fun and relaxation. The hard part is to get off the crazy train and get back to our balance. Just how do we stop the obsession?

There is no easy, magical answer here. We just have to do it, the choice is yours. Do you want to be that person who will forsake happiness and family, the raising of children or time spent with your wife or elderly parents because you have a goal to achieve and you will only take it easy once you achieve that goal? The problem with that is that you will be missing out on so much life has to offer, you may neglect and hurt those closest to you and you will not be spiritually and psychologically healthy and happy. And, there is a good chance that when you’ve achieved one goal you will just move right on to the next and find yourself in the same position yet again. The choice is your. All we have is this moment. Life is short and tomorrow may never come, so I ask you…do you want to be happy today?

Teaching and explaining forms of breath meditation, believe it or not, can consume many chapters in a book. This is my first post on mediation and this is a blog, not a book, so I will stick to the basics.

A meditation cushion and pillow are ideal so if you want to get serious about meditation, I would suggest you pick up a set. You could try www.dharmacrafts.com. You’ll at least need a soft area to sit, perhaps some pillows on the carpet and on top of that, a harder pillow, just large enough on which to sit and six to eight inches tall would be ideal. The idea is to put your but on the harder taller pillow while sitting cross-legged or in the lotus position. Because your but is up on a taller pillow, your knees should be below your hips. See the image which also indicates various hand positions. If you cannot get your feet up onto your legs, that’s OK, just do the best you can. Keeping your hips higher than your knees though is important to maintaining a proper, comfortable position. When we keep our hips above our knees and our shoulders back, not rounded forward yet not forced back too far, our body will better support itself and it will be much easier to maintain an erect posture. If you cannot sit cross-legged, get into a kneeling position, straddling the cushion of where your but will be. Then from there, bend your knees until your but is on the pillow. Your feet will be just to the sides of the pillow upon which you are sitting, just below the sides of your but.

You have the proper cushions and you know how to sit. Now you’ll need a quiet place… this is important. Setting a timer or pleasant sounding alarm clock for a predetermined time of completion is a good idea so you don’t sit and wonder what time it is and if you’ve been sitting too long or not long enough, as this wondering can interfere with your ability to concentrate. Now you’re sitting on your cushions, in a good a solid lotus or cross-legged posture with hips higher than your knees and you shoulder back. Now what?

Close yours and pay attention to the breath either at the tip of your nostrils or through the rising and falling of the abdomen. If you find it easier to pay attention to the breath as it enters and exits the nostrils, then focus on the breath there. You’ll notice not only inhalations and exhalations but also a space in between. Be aware of that space as well. If you connect more to the breath through the rising and falling of the abdomen, then pay attention to the breath in this way and again, also be aware of the gap between the rising and falling of the abdomen. This is all you have to do. Simply be aware of the breath. Do not try to manipulate or control the breath. As you are paying attention to this breath, you’ll notice that some breaths are short, some are long, some are abrupt and some are smooth. Do not try to alter the breath, just be with it as it is. All you need to do is to be aware of the breath either at the tip of the nostrils as you inhale and exhale or be aware of the breath through the rising and falling of the abdomen as you inhale and exhale.

Your mind will inevitably wander. This is normal, there is no need to beat yourself up about it. Simply know that the mind has wandered and bring it back to the breath. You will need to continuously return to the breath as the mind will continue to wander. The more you practice breath meditation, the more focused the mind will become and the less it will wander. You may notice progress very quickly or very slowly. Whatever your progress, that’s OK, that’s just the way it is. If you are aware that your mind wanders, that in itself is awareness of the way it is, which is wisdom. If you choose to beat yourself up because you can’t stay focused for very long, that is ignorance of the way it is. This ignorance is foolish and not helpful. All you need to do is to be aware of the breath and be aware when the mind wanders from the breath and bring the attention back to the breath.

This process of focusing on the breath calms the body and mind. Our thought process will naturally slow down, allowing us a chance to be with this moment without our thoughts carrying on with regrets of the past and fears of the future or how we don’t like ourselves today. We certainly cannot think these thoughts if we are focused on the breath. The more we can sustain that focus in meditation, the more peace we will experience during meditation. As we begin to notice how the mind wanders from one thought to the next during meditation, we begin to realize just how much our minds run on and on with thoughts that serve no useful purpose and we begin to experience what it is like to have all of those thoughts cease, as we concentrate on the breath. We can take what we learn in sitting mediation and apply it when we are not meditating. As our minds wander off at any point throughout our day, thinking of regrets, fears and other thoughts that are not conducive to our happiness and peace, we can bring ourselves back to the present moment so that we can be aware of the way it is now which will allow us to fully appreciate and experience life as it is. Life can be challenging enough at times in this moment, we do not need to bring in the past, future and whatever other thoughts that we conjure up that make being happy and peaceful in this moment difficult.

This is a very basic and brief meditation instruction, but should be more than enough to begin meditating. If you are new at meditation, then keeping it simple is good. If you have questions, please do not hesitate to ask in the comment forum.

When we worry about the future we ruin the present moment. The fears of what tomorrow might bring are experienced in the here and now, so how can we be happy at a given moment if we are worrying about the future at that same moment? That’s not a trick question The answer is, that are happiness will be affected if we are simultaneously living in fear of the future.

If you think about it, it’s actually rather foolish to ruin the moment by worrying about what may never come to be, but we’ve all done it. Some of what we fear may come to fruition but worrying about it in the present moment doesn’t help. Most of what we worry about probably will never happen but that’s beside the point. The point is that all we have is this moment, nothing more and nothing less, just right now. The past is but a memory and the future is not here and may or may not come for us so let us be with the only time that we truly have which is this moment. When we truly live in the moment there can be no fear of tomorrow or regrets about the past because we are not thinking of them. Sure, you can learn from your past and plan for your future but that’s not what I am talking about here. And until you get good at living in the moment, do what you can to stay out of the past and future all together as you’ll most likely skew the boundaries between planning for your future and learning from your past with worry and regret. When we are worrying about tomorrow we are also missing out on whatever it is that we are experiencing at that moment. We are not fully appreciating life and I find that sad.

One way to eliminate your fears of the future is to have faith in a Higher Power, so I will suggest reading my posts titled Letting Go, Get Faith and Let’s Talk About God. Such faith is quite helpful to us as we try to stay in this moment. Trusting in the way things are and the way things will be can make living in the moment much easier for us. So, go get some faith

This business of living in the moment need not be complicated. On the contrary, it is extremely simple. We tend to complicate life by thinking too much. Living a life based on the principles set forth on this site requires work and effort on out part. What I’m suggesting here requires no effort. All you need to do is just be with this moment. It takes effort to keep our brain spinning about what the future holds for us and the resulting fears drain our present energy. All you need to do is be with this moment. Stop… look where you are and be aware of what you are doing at this moment. That’s it.

If you do this, you will eliminate your fears of the future. Don’t expect perfection here. Your mind will wander into the future again. When you notice that you’ve left this moment, don’t beat yourself up about it just come back to it. You’ll get better with practice. The more you are able to be with this moment, the less you will worry about the future and the more you will appreciate the here and now. What you’re doing here is actually a form of meditation which I’m sure I’ll discuss in posts to come. May you be happy and at peace.

This concludes part one. Part two of this post is titled “Don’t Think So Much“.

Keep in mind that your good times and good feelings will also pass. I am not saying that you shouldn’t enjoy such times in your life but as with the bad times, why get attached to them? That’s the problem, isn’t it? We attach ourselves to what we desire, we try to possess that which we want and then when that person or thing is taken from us, we get upset. We know we will lose so much of what we have yet we still get attached. If we could only let go of what we think we possess, we would free ourselves from the fear we have of losing that which we covet and be able to fully appreciate those gifts that we have been given. This is not easy to do, especially with our loved ones. But we can keep trying. Remembering always that “this too shall pass” will help us to let go of whatever it is that we are experiencing and to which we are presently attached, whether painful or pleasurable and will help us to maintain emotional balance.

All else the same, it is certainly easier to be happy with money than without. Maybe money doesn’t buy happiness, but it helps But, we can be happy and poor at the same time. Most, if not all of us have blessings or positive areas of our lives. Granted, some more than others. Whether we choose to focus on our blessings or our problems, is our choice. Worrying how we’re going to pay the bills is understandable, but it’s not helpful. Of course, try your best to find a job if you’re unemployed, maybe more than one job if necessary & cut back on expenses. Perhaps you could sell a few personal items to bring in some extra money or call some creditors to see if they will allow you to skip a payment or two. The point is, do the necessary footwork to help solve your financial woes.

So, now you’re doing everything you can to help yourself get out of your financial mess. This should help you to feel a little better anyway. Now, what about those blessings I mentioned earlier. I’m sure you have them and most of you probably don’t need to look very far to see them. Focus as much as possible on these blessings while continuing to do the next right thing in your life, keeping in mind that we have no control over other peoples decisions. For example, you can apply to 20 jobs this week and not receive one interview. All you can do is your best and then you need to let go of the results. Trust in the way your life is unfolding because you really don’t have a whole lot of control over what others do and the decisions they make that impact your life. Don’t get me wrong here, we need to do the footwork in this life to get where we want to go and many times that effort visibly pays off. You’ll certainly want do your best to convince a potential employer that you’re the person for the job but you ultimately have no control over their final decision.

What we do have control over is our actions, our decisions, our choices. It’s challenging enough to lose a job and struggle to pay the bills. Why add negativity to the mix? Be positive, appreciate your blessings, do the things you couldn’t do while you were working. You’ll be back to work soon enough Would you rather be told that your child, spouse, parents or other loved was dying of cancer or that you lost your job and had to live in a one room apartment? I’ll take the latter any day and be oh so grateful despite the fact that I don’t know how I am going to pay the bills.

If you’re having a difficult time realizing your blessings, make a list of them. Do you have loved ones, a husband or wife, children, parents, siblings, or other family or friends? Do you have a pet that you love and that loves you? Do you presently have a roof over your head? Do you have food in the fridge? Are you or your loved ones healthy? Can you walk or talk? Do you have the physical and mental capacity to get a job? Do you have good memories? Can you smell the air and the flowers? Can you see? Maybe you have some of these blessings in your life, maybe you have them all. I hope you will be able to add other blessings to this list.

We can also take solace in knowing that we are most definitely not alone. Millions of others are in the same financial boat and many are much, much worse off than most of us are. There are children dying right now because they have no food to eat, never mind a computer to use. If you are to the point of not having food to eat, then I am truly sorry and cannot relate to such a level of poverty.

In summary, here’s what we need to do:

1) We need to focus on our blessings, all the positive in our lives, not dwell on our financial problems.
2) Worry is a negative emotion that helps no one, so stop worrying! Let go of your life and trust that it is happening the way it is supposed to happen.
3) Do the necessary footwork, the next right thing to achieve your desired results of your life.
4) Remember…you’re not alone.