- Life is as good or bad as I make it. I always have blessings, whether or not I choose to see them is entirely up to me.

- It’s fascinating just how happy & at peace I am when I am not consumed with me, myself & I.

-When I’m consumed with self, I’m consumed with self-centered fear, which ruins everything. No self, no self-centered fear. Simple really.

- So, it would seem that we need to eliminate this self so that we can be free from fear & at peace. Simple deduction

- No fear, know peace
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- Someone once told me that my life was none of my business.

- If you want to feel good, don’t do things that make you feel bad.

- If you want to change, you have to change.

Above is the common, partial version of the prayer as written by its supposed author Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr.

Below is the version adapted by Alcoholics Anonymous and other twelve step programs which was based on Dr. Niebuhr’s version.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

The Serenity Prayer, when applied, will aid you in your quest for peace and happiness. The prayers can be used by anyone with faith in a Higher Power or God. The prayers do not need to be specific to a particular religion to be used effectively although the author was a Protestant. I’ll let the prayers speak for themselves.

Teaching and explaining forms of breath meditation, believe it or not, can consume many chapters in a book. This is my first post on mediation and this is a blog, not a book, so I will stick to the basics.

A meditation cushion and pillow are ideal so if you want to get serious about meditation, I would suggest you pick up a set. You could try www.dharmacrafts.com. You’ll at least need a soft area to sit, perhaps some pillows on the carpet and on top of that, a harder pillow, just large enough on which to sit and six to eight inches tall would be ideal. The idea is to put your but on the harder taller pillow while sitting cross-legged or in the lotus position. Because your but is up on a taller pillow, your knees should be below your hips. See the image which also indicates various hand positions. If you cannot get your feet up onto your legs, that’s OK, just do the best you can. Keeping your hips higher than your knees though is important to maintaining a proper, comfortable position. When we keep our hips above our knees and our shoulders back, not rounded forward yet not forced back too far, our body will better support itself and it will be much easier to maintain an erect posture. If you cannot sit cross-legged, get into a kneeling position, straddling the cushion of where your but will be. Then from there, bend your knees until your but is on the pillow. Your feet will be just to the sides of the pillow upon which you are sitting, just below the sides of your but.

You have the proper cushions and you know how to sit. Now you’ll need a quiet place… this is important. Setting a timer or pleasant sounding alarm clock for a predetermined time of completion is a good idea so you don’t sit and wonder what time it is and if you’ve been sitting too long or not long enough, as this wondering can interfere with your ability to concentrate. Now you’re sitting on your cushions, in a good a solid lotus or cross-legged posture with hips higher than your knees and you shoulder back. Now what?

Close yours and pay attention to the breath either at the tip of your nostrils or through the rising and falling of the abdomen. If you find it easier to pay attention to the breath as it enters and exits the nostrils, then focus on the breath there. You’ll notice not only inhalations and exhalations but also a space in between. Be aware of that space as well. If you connect more to the breath through the rising and falling of the abdomen, then pay attention to the breath in this way and again, also be aware of the gap between the rising and falling of the abdomen. This is all you have to do. Simply be aware of the breath. Do not try to manipulate or control the breath. As you are paying attention to this breath, you’ll notice that some breaths are short, some are long, some are abrupt and some are smooth. Do not try to alter the breath, just be with it as it is. All you need to do is to be aware of the breath either at the tip of the nostrils as you inhale and exhale or be aware of the breath through the rising and falling of the abdomen as you inhale and exhale.

Your mind will inevitably wander. This is normal, there is no need to beat yourself up about it. Simply know that the mind has wandered and bring it back to the breath. You will need to continuously return to the breath as the mind will continue to wander. The more you practice breath meditation, the more focused the mind will become and the less it will wander. You may notice progress very quickly or very slowly. Whatever your progress, that’s OK, that’s just the way it is. If you are aware that your mind wanders, that in itself is awareness of the way it is, which is wisdom. If you choose to beat yourself up because you can’t stay focused for very long, that is ignorance of the way it is. This ignorance is foolish and not helpful. All you need to do is to be aware of the breath and be aware when the mind wanders from the breath and bring the attention back to the breath.

This process of focusing on the breath calms the body and mind. Our thought process will naturally slow down, allowing us a chance to be with this moment without our thoughts carrying on with regrets of the past and fears of the future or how we don’t like ourselves today. We certainly cannot think these thoughts if we are focused on the breath. The more we can sustain that focus in meditation, the more peace we will experience during meditation. As we begin to notice how the mind wanders from one thought to the next during meditation, we begin to realize just how much our minds run on and on with thoughts that serve no useful purpose and we begin to experience what it is like to have all of those thoughts cease, as we concentrate on the breath. We can take what we learn in sitting mediation and apply it when we are not meditating. As our minds wander off at any point throughout our day, thinking of regrets, fears and other thoughts that are not conducive to our happiness and peace, we can bring ourselves back to the present moment so that we can be aware of the way it is now which will allow us to fully appreciate and experience life as it is. Life can be challenging enough at times in this moment, we do not need to bring in the past, future and whatever other thoughts that we conjure up that make being happy and peaceful in this moment difficult.

This is a very basic and brief meditation instruction, but should be more than enough to begin meditating. If you are new at meditation, then keeping it simple is good. If you have questions, please do not hesitate to ask in the comment forum.

In my last post, “Emotional Stability in the Observer”, I talked about the observer being aware of our thoughts and actions. Let me expound a bit on just how this awareness increases our peace and happiness.

It’s important to first understand why we experience discord and unhappiness. Basically put, when we don’t get what we want or we lose something or someone that we covet, we get upset in some way. We also get upset at the mere thought of losing what what have and not getting what we want. We’re not usually happy and peaceful while we’re upset as we are angry, afraid, sad, jealous, disappointed, etc.

Let’s look a little deeper as to why we become upset. We’ll look at this process from its end to its earlier stages. Whether we’re looking at losing something or someone that you have or not getting something or someone that you want, you cling to that which you desire. The clinging to that which you desire is a result of craving, your craving began with the feelings you had in relation to that object or person. You are feeling based on the contact you had with the object or person. The contact that you had is through sensory input from the eyes, ears, nose, mouth, touch and thought. The sensory input that you experienced could not be had without the physical body that you inhabit. And then, there is this consciousness or awareness that observes even the body and mind. Are you with me so far?

How much of our lives have been spent blindly chasing our desires not actually paying attention to our actions until we hit a wall of discomfort or pain and are left with no choice other than to finally stop and realize what we’ve done and feel the effects? Maybe feeling any type of unpleasantness is not for you so you’re off and running again, seeking more pleasure only to inevitably hit the wall of life once again, never truly experiencing anything other than material or sensory pleasures. Or perhaps you’re not a pleasure seeker but one who sits in his or her pain and misery, going from one unpleasant moment to the next reacting negatively to whatever life has in store for you, never experiencing happiness and peace. You might fit into some other personality or living style example but whatever your situation, you can continue this vicious cycle of discord and unhappiness or you can take refuge in awareness.

As explained above, we become upset when we lose what we have or do not get what we want. We’ve also determined that we cling to that which we possess and that which we do not want to lose. Awareness eliminates ignorance and allows us the wonderful opportunity to see just how we end up in the position of clinging. This clinging inevitably results in us being upset in some way as everyone and everything that we covet is impermanent. We will therefore lose all that we desire and that to which we cling, causing us emotional, mental and spiritual upset.

Once we become aware of all that precedes clinging, we can begin to understand, see clearly, slow down the process and choose not to cling to that which we desire. It’s that simple. Free from ignorance, we can now see that it would be wise not to cling to such desires as the inevitable result is pain and suffering. This does not mean that we do not feel, on the contrary, our feelings are now true, pure and free from fear. The fear I speak of is the fear of loss and the fear of not getting what we want. The lack of clinging allows us to experience life’s pleasures and our loved ones more fully and completely. We can now be aware of the feelings that arise when our senses come in contact with an object or a person and choose not to crave and cling but to truly experience that object or person as they are, free from the presence of our self-centeredness.

When we run blindly through life, from one sensory experience to the next, we miss out on many of life’s true pleasures and end up causing ourselves unnecessary pain. From the perspective of the observer, we can observe and be aware of the process that leads to clinging which leads to discomfort, pain or suffering. We just need to be aware of what is occurring within ourselves so that we can choose not to react negatively to life and choose not to cling to that which we desire as with clinging comes fear. Fear is a spiritual and mental detriment that only brings suffering to our lives and to the lives of those around us.

Awareness is here and now but can be improved upon with practice. If you are fortunate enough to be fully aware immediately, I would love to hear about it but for most of us, we will need to practice awareness. Please understand that the principles I discuss on this site are perfect ideals but will most likely never be perfectly executed by any of us.

I wish you peace.

Our problems stem from an overwhelming sense of self so anything we can do to diminish this self will prove to be beneficial to our spiritual, mental and emotional conditions. In the scenario in the opening paragraph, I describe peace as being the result of realizing just how small we really are. We experience all types of trials and tribulations and pain and suffering in this life as a result of being attached to this self. We get upset when we don’t get our way whether we lose something that we posses or we do not get something that we want. This we, or more importantly I in the first person, is the cause of our pain and suffering. I want this or I want that, I don’t like this or I don’t like that. I don’t feel good, I am sad or I am angry, I am hungry, I am tired, I don’t like my job, I don’t like my spouse, I want a new car, I want more money… I, I, I.

What if there was no I? Who then would experience the unpleasantness, the pain and the suffering of this life? Think about it…

Can you understand why the less importance we put on our self, the happier we become? Most if not all of the posts on this site can help you to reduce your sense of self. I will continue to write about self and ways in which we can learn to let go of it. Go outside alone on the next clear night and look up at the moon and stars for a while. Don’t rush back inside, take it all in, relax and breathe.

Do you ever feel as if you can’t turn off your mind and thoughts? Does your mind race preventing you from falling asleep or staying focused on a particular task? Does your mind run on and on to the point where you can’t take it anymore and you wish it would just stop?

Many years ago, this was me. I am happy to say that without medication, through spiritual and psychological training and practice my mind is quite the opposite today. I reveal this information to offer hope to those who suffer from a racing mind. I am not a doctor so I will not offer medical advice and am not suggesting that you stop taking any medication that  was subscribed to you by your doctor. What I am sharing with you is my personal experience with such issues as well as the experiences of others whom I know, who have also experienced similar changes though similar practices.

This slowing down of the mind can happen gradually by changing how we live. Quite often our mind races with regretful thoughts of our wrongful actions. So, start living right and make better decisions resulting in better actions. All of the posts on this site are related to right living and self-improvement.

Many of our racing thoughts may be attributed to our fears. When we live in fear our mind can be consumed with such fears making it difficult to experience a peaceful mind. I have written many posts that discuss fear and its opposite, faith, such as “Let’s Talk About God” and “Letting Go” that may help you to alleviate your fears. To begin practicing this faith in a Higher Power, I would suggest praying when you get up in the morning and at night before you go to bed. If your faith is limited, pray anyway, even if you don’t think it will help. You do not have to believe that anyone is listening and if you do, that’s OK too. What is important in your morning prayers is to decide to put your life in God’s care or in other words, deciding to trust in the way your life will unfold on that day. Of course, you will need to do your best to behave accordingly as your actions can impact your day. You must do all of the footwork necessary on any given day then you need to let go of the results, as you do not have control over other people and what life has in store for you next, acknowledging that living right and doing the necessary footwork can impact life’s results. Besides, you have nothing to worry about because you made a decision in the morning to let your Higher Power run the show. Someone once told me that my life is none of my business. Are you beginning to understand just how much peace there is in trusting in a Higher Power? Not necessarily trusting that everything is going to be great, but trusting in The Way It Is. Please read all of my posts on fear and faith to gather more information that may aid you in your quest for faith and see the Helpful Links page for additional information. During your evening prayers, express gratitude for your blessings that day. These are very brief prayers that can have a dramatic affect on your peace of mind and overall spiritual well-being.

Before or after your evening prayers, I would suggest doing a brief inventory of yourself for that day acknowledging both your right and wrong actions. Continue to do what you did right that day, improving where you can and learning from what you did wrong and try not to repeat such wrong behaviors in the future. We want to learn from our inventories so that we can be better people, continuously improving our thoughts and actions. The more we do what is right, the more peace of mind we will have.

Meditation is another great method you can use to begin to slow and calm your mind. However, this is a vast topic so I will write separate posts about various types of meditation. Anyway, you will find meditation more difficult if you are not living Right. So in summary, you’ll need to live right, work on developing your faith in a Higher Power, pray and perform daily inventories of yourself. If you honestly practice these principles, I would suspect that your mind will begin to slow down and stop racing.

I wish you a peaceful mind.

Although acceptance is the answer to our problems, if it were that easy to simply accept whatever life throws at us, we would all be walking Buddha’s and you certainly wouldn’t need this site So…we work at it. I know acceptance is the answer to my problems but that doesn’t mean that I am able to accept everything all of the time. My acceptance levels have improved dramatically over the years but there are still many times throughout a day when I am not accepting a situation. Again, full and complete acceptance would bring full and complete peace and I am not always one hundred percent peaceful. I don’t know anyone who is.

One of my favorite books is titled “The Way It Is” by Ajahn Sumedho. This book dramatically improved my ability to accept life the way it is. Life can be no other way than the way it is at this moment. We have a choice as to how we want to deal with life. We can either accept life as it is at this moment or we can fight it. Which way do you think will result in happiness?

Accepting life the way it is now doesn’t mean that you can’t change what needs to be changed. For example, let’s say that you’re in a relationship with someone who is abusive to you in some way. You can accept the way that person is and still leave them or insist that they change or else you will leave them. Acceptance is for this moment.

Let’s face it, we can’t change much in this life, only ourselves and most of us don’t have complete control over that either. It’s safe to say that we can’t change other people so you might as well accept them the way that they are. We can influence people, the environment and various other things in this world but, for the most part, they are out of our control. We may not be able to control what life throws at us, but we can control how we respond to it. Will you react or will you accept?