HAPPINESS HELP » Open-Mind

Identify, Don’t Compare

Alan A — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 11:40:00 +0000

Have you heard the saying “those who want to do something find a way and those who don’t find an excuse”? We can relate these words to our happiness as well. Those who truly want to be happy or happier and are seeking ways in which to be so will identify with the information on this site and practice the principles suggested. Those who are seeking help yet still holding on to their self-will or those who are skeptical, will tend to compare, not identify. Let me explain further.

Have you ever noticed that when you really want something or someone, you only see the positive in that person or situation but when you’re not so interested, you see the negative? When you truly want help, you’ll see the help. But when you’re not ready to be helped you won’t see it when it’s right in front of your eyes. When we’re ready to receive help from others who can relate to us and have experienced what we’ve experienced or just offer good information, we will be more inclined to identify with the help being offered and the help source. When we’re still clinging to our way and have a closed mind, we will see all of the reasons why the help source whether it be information in a book, online or face to face, will not work for us. Maybe you’ll say “I am different, my circumstances are not the same as that Alan guys. Maybe he was miserable at one time but he probably didn’t have it as bad as me. Sure, I can identify with a few things but not all of it. This will never work for me.”

If you this sounds like you, why not try to focus on that to which you can identify and stop comparing. By definition, when we compare, we begin to look for not only similarities but differences. If you are already skeptical and not so open-minded, which do you think you’ll notice more, the similarities – that to which you can identify – or the differences – that to which you cannot identify or relate – ?

If you’re truly trying to find ways to help yourself be happy, other than your own, why not try to identify with the information on this site? Think about it, what good does it do you to try and find reasons that this site, or any other help source, will not help you? Focus on that which can help you, not that which cannot. And then go back to that which you thought could not help you and open your mind. Remember, if you’re unhappy, then your way isn’t working, is it?

May you be happy and at peace.

All or Nothing

Alan A — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 10:45:00 +0000

This site contains many posts on varying topics. There may be more than one post about a particular topic, discussing different aspects of that topic. You may be reading a post about anger and not identify with it. You may think that the views expressed are all wrong or maybe you just can’t get your head around whatever it is that I am talking about. But there may be other posts about anger that you may find incredibly useful. Or you may be enlightened by seventy-five percent of the post and not like the remaining twenty-five percent. The point is you don’t have to make the use of this site an all or nothing matter. Life is not usually black or white, it’s usually gray.

Approaching your quest for happiness with the attitude that life and all its components are not necessarily black or white or all or nothing, may prove to be a beneficial mindset to possess. Because you do not agree with a certain view or cannot relate to a certain idea or feeling discussed in a post, doesn’t mean that you will not benefit from other parts of that post. How often do we close our minds when we hear something foreign to us, immediately judging the strange information we just heard? When we do this, we close ourselves off to potentially valuable information that may follow. I have done this many times only to later realize what I missed. I have also disagreed with the views of others only to later end up sharing the exact view in which I once disagreed. I remember reading a religious book some years ago and did not at all believe in some of the basic concepts of this religion. Today, it’s the religion that I practice!

Things change. Views, opinions, feelings, thoughts, actions, beliefs and so on, are subject to change. So, why not keep and open mind while reading the information on this site? Not understanding or agreeing with certain views doesn’t need to cause you to miss out on other information that you may find extremely useful. There is usually more then one answer to a problem. Take what you need while on your path to happiness and leave the rest. You just may leave something on the side of the path today that you’ll need next year. May you be happy and at peace.

*This post was inspired by FA

The Key to Change

Alan A — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 11:20:00 +0000

I would imagine that if you’ve found this site through your own means, there’s a decent chance that you would like to be happier. If someone else sent you a link to this site, then maybe they want you to be happier Do you think it’s possible that you can be any happier? Maybe you are very unhappy now and believe that you’re destined to a life of doom and gloom. Although I do not believe that any of you are alone in your feelings, different readers will be coming from different starting points. So what does it take to be happy anyway? No matter how happy or unhappy you may presently be, if you want to change, there are a couple of key ingredients that you’ll need to possess.

You’ll need willingness or desire and an open-mind, that’s it. If you have the desire to change, I believe that you can change. You may not be able to change everything about yourself but enough that you can be happier. You have a choice, you can read the information on this site and look for reasons why it will not work for you or you can keep an open mind and try to utilize that information to your benefit. Some of you may not be ready to change. No one can give you desire, it must come from within. You may have influencing factors in your life that help you to want to change to be a happier, healthier person, such as a child or spouse, but the willingness has to come from within you. If you are unhappy but do not have the willingness to take suggestions from other sources that may help you to be happier, keep reading anyway, maybe something, someday will eventually click. For those who are unhappy and have been for a while, let me ask you a question….how’s your way working out for you? Why not try another way?

Once you have the willingness to do the work required to be happy, start by finding sources that may help you with your quest, such as this site. Click the “Helpful Links” button at the top of the page for some other sources that may guide you on your path to happiness. You’ll find many self-help books at your local library and bookstores as well as online. I have found that another key ingredient to my happiness is my faith in a Higher Power. I will talk more of this in other posts. So, if you have an interest in improving your relationship with a Higher Power, that’s a great place to start.