Most of us would say that I am sad, I am angry, I am in pain or I am suffering when we experience such feelings and emotions. Are feelings and emotions such as sadness, anger, pain and suffering original to each of us or are they shared by us all? It seems to me that feelings and emotions were here long before we came around and will be here after we’re gone. Why then do we make them so personal?

It’s that self of ours again that is causing all of our pain and suffering. I am not going to spend much time writing specifically about the self in this post but I do hope to get you to look at your feelings and emotions in a different way, a way that is not personal and associated with your self.

As opposed to attaching to your feelings and emotions by saying or thinking “I am sad or I am in pain”, try this instead… there is sadness, there is anger or there is pain. Feelings and emotions exist and we can learn to be aware of them without attaching to them and making them personal. It’s when we make them personal that we become upset. All feelings, thoughts and emotions will rise and cease, they are not permanent. Some will remain with us for a lifetime but they will change as well. It is when we can learn to watch the arising and ceasing of these feelings, thoughts and emotions without reacting to them and making them personal that we will experience emotional stability and peace. Continue to train your self by saying there is, not I am.

I have written many posts that pertain to awareness and the self that I hope you will find helpful. I recommend reading Pure Awareness, Emotional Stability in the Observer and Be Aware and Be at Peace, to aid you in your ability to be aware of your thoughts, feelings and emotions.

In my last post, “Emotional Stability in the Observer”, I talked about the observer being aware of our thoughts and actions. Let me expound a bit on just how this awareness increases our peace and happiness.

It’s important to first understand why we experience discord and unhappiness. Basically put, when we don’t get what we want or we lose something or someone that we covet, we get upset in some way. We also get upset at the mere thought of losing what what have and not getting what we want. We’re not usually happy and peaceful while we’re upset as we are angry, afraid, sad, jealous, disappointed, etc.

Let’s look a little deeper as to why we become upset. We’ll look at this process from its end to its earlier stages. Whether we’re looking at losing something or someone that you have or not getting something or someone that you want, you cling to that which you desire. The clinging to that which you desire is a result of craving, your craving began with the feelings you had in relation to that object or person. You are feeling based on the contact you had with the object or person. The contact that you had is through sensory input from the eyes, ears, nose, mouth, touch and thought. The sensory input that you experienced could not be had without the physical body that you inhabit. And then, there is this consciousness or awareness that observes even the body and mind. Are you with me so far?

How much of our lives have been spent blindly chasing our desires not actually paying attention to our actions until we hit a wall of discomfort or pain and are left with no choice other than to finally stop and realize what we’ve done and feel the effects? Maybe feeling any type of unpleasantness is not for you so you’re off and running again, seeking more pleasure only to inevitably hit the wall of life once again, never truly experiencing anything other than material or sensory pleasures. Or perhaps you’re not a pleasure seeker but one who sits in his or her pain and misery, going from one unpleasant moment to the next reacting negatively to whatever life has in store for you, never experiencing happiness and peace. You might fit into some other personality or living style example but whatever your situation, you can continue this vicious cycle of discord and unhappiness or you can take refuge in awareness.

As explained above, we become upset when we lose what we have or do not get what we want. We’ve also determined that we cling to that which we possess and that which we do not want to lose. Awareness eliminates ignorance and allows us the wonderful opportunity to see just how we end up in the position of clinging. This clinging inevitably results in us being upset in some way as everyone and everything that we covet is impermanent. We will therefore lose all that we desire and that to which we cling, causing us emotional, mental and spiritual upset.

Once we become aware of all that precedes clinging, we can begin to understand, see clearly, slow down the process and choose not to cling to that which we desire. It’s that simple. Free from ignorance, we can now see that it would be wise not to cling to such desires as the inevitable result is pain and suffering. This does not mean that we do not feel, on the contrary, our feelings are now true, pure and free from fear. The fear I speak of is the fear of loss and the fear of not getting what we want. The lack of clinging allows us to experience life’s pleasures and our loved ones more fully and completely. We can now be aware of the feelings that arise when our senses come in contact with an object or a person and choose not to crave and cling but to truly experience that object or person as they are, free from the presence of our self-centeredness.

When we run blindly through life, from one sensory experience to the next, we miss out on many of life’s true pleasures and end up causing ourselves unnecessary pain. From the perspective of the observer, we can observe and be aware of the process that leads to clinging which leads to discomfort, pain or suffering. We just need to be aware of what is occurring within ourselves so that we can choose not to react negatively to life and choose not to cling to that which we desire as with clinging comes fear. Fear is a spiritual and mental detriment that only brings suffering to our lives and to the lives of those around us.

Awareness is here and now but can be improved upon with practice. If you are fortunate enough to be fully aware immediately, I would love to hear about it but for most of us, we will need to practice awareness. Please understand that the principles I discuss on this site are perfect ideals but will most likely never be perfectly executed by any of us.

I wish you peace.

So then, the observer or knower is aware or depending on how you look at it, the awareness observes or knows. At this point you very well may have no idea what I am talking about. You may have never identified this observer or awareness and even though you may be trying to do so now, you still may not tap into it. But, once you do… you’ll know it. And then you’ll lose it again

One of the reasons we want to identify this observer is that from the perspective of the observer, there is peace and emotional stability. That which observes is always stable and unshaken as it simply observes and is not connected to our emotions. The observer merely observes all that is happening within our mind and body. So, even if we are reacting emotionally to life, the observer is simply aware of these reactions whether they are feelings or outward actions. Now, if we can sustain such awareness, we can take refuge in it.

The more we tap into this awareness, the less we will react emotionally to life and the more stable we will become. As we spend more time being aware from the observer’s perspective, the calmer we become and the less likely we are to react to life in an emotional manner. When we react to life by getting emotionally upset, we are not accepting life as it is. Connecting to this awareness helps us to accept life with peace and serenity as it becomes more difficult to react when we are observing.

We are human and will react to life emotionally at times. We will still think unpleasant thoughts and feel unpleasant feelings and act in ways that are not conducive to peace and happiness. But, instead of losing ourselves in these thoughts, feelings and actions, we can pull back and take refuge in the awareness of it all and from there we will gain Right Understanding and peace. We will be able to make healthier decisions and cease acting and feeling in ways not conducive to our emotional, mental and spiritual well-being.

So, just how do you get in touch with this awareness or the observer? It’s actually much simpler than it may sound. For example, at this moment you are reading this post. Do you know that you are reading this post? I am assuming yes. What is it that knows that you are reading this post? Here is a very crude explanation of what takes place. Your eyes see the words which are then processed by your brain. Because your brain has learned English, it comprehends what you are reading. But there is that which knows that your eyes are seeing and your brain is thinking. That’s the observer or the awareness. When you identify with this awareness, you will experience calmness and peace, although it may only be brief and subtle at first. The more you connect to the observer, the more you will be able to take refuge in it and the more peace and calm you will experience.

You can substitute any action, thought or feeling you are presently experiencing in the above example to help you to identify with the observer or the awareness. Here are some more examples to help you identify the observer. When you are eating, you can ask yourself at any moment what is it that knows I am eating. Your brain is in charge of the process but what is it that is aware that your brain is in charge of the process. That is the knower or the observer. Perhaps you are feeling angry. Your brain processed stimuli and now you are feeling angry. What is it that knows that you are feeling angry or thinking angry thoughts? From the place of awareness, you will be able to observe the angry thoughts and feelings without being attached to them. There is no I or me in the awareness. The awareness is not personal, it just is and it just knows. This is why there is so much peace from the perspective of the observer. Give it a try, see if you can tap into the observer. It may take some time or it may happen immediately for you. You may tap into the awareness one minute and lose it the next. Just keep trying as the more we practice, the better we become, as it is with all spiritual practice.

You may want to read this a few times. I also recommend reading the post “Pure Awareness”.

This concludes Part I
See “Be Aware and Be at Peace” for Part II