I am not arrogant or foolish enough to say that I will be happy no matter what life throws at me as I cannot know how I will react to a situation until I am faced with it. However, to this point, I have not had to deal with anything in this life during which I could not maintain some degree of peace and happiness. That’s not to say that I have not had to face death and illness of loved ones, financial troubles and other trying times. What I have found though is that it’s not so much life that is good or bad or up and down but rather it is the state of my own spiritual and psychological condition that determines how I view and feel about life.

Whether or not I think life stinks has everything to do with my frame of mind. Have you ever had a day where you were negative about almost everything, the kind of day where you just couldn’t stand yourself, anyone or anything? And then, the very next day you felt great, life was good, you were smiling and laughing and the world seemed like a good place? Think about it, in most cases, did your life change that much over night or did you change?

Life will have its ups and downs, it good times and bad. We will undoubtedly experience uncomfortability and pain, that’s life. That is not a pessimistic attitude but simply reality. We can experience peace even through life’s most challenging moments, providing we are spiritually and psychologically fit. When we’re not, we don’t need a tragedy to be miserable, we can make life miserable all by ourselves. If you’re having trouble being happy dealing with life’s minor ups and downs, what are you going to do when something big happens? Although some people rise to the occasion during life’s most trying times, why not maintain a healthy spiritual state of mind and body so that you can enjoy life as it is at this moment? You’ll also be prepared when life throws you a good curve ball. I know of a great website where you can find helpful information to aid in your quest for happiness by practicing spirituality and psychological principles

When you notice that you are thinking negatively, try to stop the negative thoughts and if necessary, think of something positive instead. If you find yourself involved in a negative conversation, excuse yourself from the discussion or turn the conversation into a positive one. The awareness of your own negativity will open your eyes to the negativity of others as well.

Assuming that you want to be happy and peaceful, you will need to reduce or eliminate your negativity and become more positive. Simply by reducing your negativity, you will become more positive. Of course, you need to want to stop being negative. If you say that you want to be happy but you still want to be negative, then I believe that you are in for an uphill climb and I’m not sure how much I can help you.

This few-day exercise that I am suggesting is only the beginning and is intended as an opportunity to shed some light on your negativity. If you don’t notice any negativity in yourself in those few days then continue with your spiritual practice and try the exercise again in a month or so and continue this pattern until you become aware of your negativity. Maybe you are truly are a positive person and negativity is not one of your shortcomings. If this is the case, by this time you should now be quite aware of it Maintaining positive thoughts, feelings and speech is to be practiced over this lifetime. The more aware we become of our negativity, hopefully, the more unacceptable we will find it and the more desire we will have to eliminate it.

Certainly, a positive attitude and outlook on life will develop as a result of spiritual and psychological practice. But, as this exercise suggests, sometimes we need to consciously shed some light onto our shortcomings so that we can begin to work on eliminating them and improving ourselves. My guess is that the more positive you become, the less acceptable you will be of your own negativity and the negativity of others and you may not wish to socialize with negative people other than to help them and to be a positive example. I would love to hear about how you did with the exercise.

I talk a lot on this site about living in the moment and being with the way it is. Being fully present in the here and now is certainly conducive to peace and happiness. However, there are many who are unhappy with themselves and spiritually and psychologically unhealthy so that being with this moment means being with these unpleasant conditions as well.

Despite that we may not like this moment, it is still the place to be. We cannot correct our deficiencies unless we deal with them as they exist in this moment. Don’t misunderstand, we may require years of psychotherapy so that we can look at our pasts so as to learn why we are the way we are so that we can begin healing. We may need to do a thorough inventory of ourselves, logging our wrongs and investigating why we did the things we did. The point is that we will at times need to look back so that we can improve upon ourselves today.

For those of you who cannot bear this moment because of your own shortcomings and deficiencies, there is some work to be done so that this moment can be a place of refuge for you. It’s difficult to explain to someone who does not understand how it feels not to be comfortable in your own skin. To be so unhappy and miserable inside that this moment is difficult to tolerate. If you can relate to this, you are not alone and I believe that there is most likely a way out of the pain, providing that you truly want to change. I wrote a post called Self Acceptance that will be a good place to start. This entire site is designed to help people be happy and all of the posts on this site will help you to feel better about yourself, your life and therefore, this moment. I do not have one magic answer to make this moment tolerable for you. Unfortunately, it may take time for you to begin to like yourself or to be spiritually and psychologically healthy enough so that the present moment is a comfortable place for you.

I do know that if you do not try to improve yourself or you quit this spiritual journey that you have begun, you will almost certainly not progress towards the peace and happiness you so desire. Remember that you are not alone in your struggles. Many others, including me, are also on the same or a similar path as you. I was once miserable and at times could not bear life or myself. Just a reminder, in case you haven’t noticed yet, I am an extremely happy, grateful and contented person today and have been for many years. There is hope as happiness and peace are possible just as long as we work for them. I wish you the same happiness and peace that I know in this moment.

If you this sounds like you, why not try to focus on that to which you can identify and stop comparing. By definition, when we compare, we begin to look for not only similarities but differences. If you are already skeptical and not so open-minded, which do you think you’ll notice more, the similarities – that to which you can identify – or the differences – that to which you cannot identify or relate – ?

If you’re truly trying to find ways to help yourself be happy, other than your own, why not try to identify with the information on this site? Think about it, what good does it do you to try and find reasons that this site, or any other help source, will not help you? Focus on that which can help you, not that which cannot. And then go back to that which you thought could not help you and open your mind. Remember, if you’re unhappy, then your way isn’t working, is it?

May you be happy and at peace.

I understand that during times of such great negativity that you may not want to do anything to help yourself, that’s part of the negativity. However, if you have truly had enough of feeling this way then I would hope that you would have even the slightest bit of willingness to try. Have you ever heard the expression, “move a muscle, change a thought”? Regardless of whether you want to do this or not is not important, the important part is to do it. If your alone and miserable, perhaps you could find some people do be with. That may be the change you need. Maybe you’ve been around people all day and could use some alone time. Whatever it is that you’re doing isn’t working, so do something else, just be sure it’s positive and healthy.

Becoming a happy, peaceful and balanced person isn’t necessarily easy. This may come quickly for some and may take years for others. Changing such negativity may take a while but if you work at it by practicing the principles described in the posts on this site, I believe that you will make gradual improvements. Of course, this site is not the only help source available. Perhaps you’ll discover a religion that will be of great spiritual help to you as well or maybe you’ll benefit from some of the “helpful links” that I have included on this site. You may need some professional help as well, perhaps a good psychotherapist or psychiatrist, I am not a mental health professional so that’s just my opinion, but I know such pros can help. This is a process, a spiritual and mental journey, hence the sub-title of this site, “helping you on the path to happiness”. When we take a path, we leave one place and move towards another. The final destination of life is death so let’s not be in a rush to get to the end. Enjoy the journey while on this spiritual path, growing a little more with every step, becoming a little happier year after year until you’re gratitude is so great that it has the ability to bring you to tears. I was once too miserable to be happy or grateful, now I am too happy and grateful to be miserable and I wish you the same