Next time you find yourself talking about another person, honestly assess whether you are speaking positively or negatively about that person. Sometimes we may even say that are intentions are not to speak poorly of someone while we are speaking poorly of them. If you realize that you are not speaking positively about another, simply stop speaking negatively about them and honestly assess the motives behind your words. You’ll notice that I have used the word honestly more than once. It is not always easy to see our true motives and even when get a glimpse of them, we don’t always want to probe deeper as it can be difficult to face our impure motives.

Speaking negatively about other people contradicts our spiritual way of living. It goes against the natural order of connection between people. Negativity in any form is usually damaging to our spiritual and psychological states. Speaking negatively of others creates a separation between us and our fellows and emphasizes our self-centeredness, both of which can be damaging to our spiritual and psychological states.

Not speaking negatively about others would seem to be an easy practice once we recognize that we’re doing it. All we need to do is stop talking bad about others, simple, right? This is another of those simple but not easy practices. Once you become aware of just how often you speak poorly of others and discover your motives for doing so, I think you’ll be surprised as to just how often you do this to inflate your self by criticizing another’s character. It may not be so easy to stop knocking others when your motives for doing so are to inflate our own egos. If you find this change difficult and you continue to talk negatively about others, despite your efforts, do not be discouraged. Keep trying and continue your general spiritual practice as the healthier we are spiritually and psychologically, the less we will need to inflate our egos and the easier it will become not to speak poorly of others.

Perhaps an even simpler form of honesty which we can immediately practice is to be sure not to take what is not yours. This is called cash register honesty. Some examples of this type of honesty would include returning a wallet that you found, telling the cashier that he/she gave you too much change or returning that cd that someone left in your car. When you find yourself in a situation where you can choose not to take or you can choose to return, what is not yours, be honest and do what is right.

On a bit of a deeper level, we all lie to ourselves at times. There are so many layers of honesty that it’s not possible to be 100% percent honest with ourselves all of the time. We may think we are being honest with ourselves about a situation only to later realize that we were not being honest at the time or in other words, we were in denial. So much of our happiness is related to our decision making and actions and how we live our lives. So, when we are not seeing ourselves or our situations for what they truly are we cannot make right decisions which will result in wrong actions, which will negatively impact our happiness, as happiness naturally develops as a result of right living.

Do your best to take an honest look at your thoughts and motives before acting in all situations. If you can begin to live from a place of honesty, knowing that all you say and do is true and honest, you will increase your self-respect and self-worth thereby making it much easier to be happy and at peace. This type of personal growth does not happen instantly. I would suspect that you will gradually become more honest with yourself and others as you gain insight and awareness. Many of the posts on this site and other appropriate spiritual and psychological practices in general, help us to increase our self-awareness and levels of honesty. The point is that becoming more aware, honest and happy with ourselves is a process. I wish you well.