We have very little control over much of what occurs in this world but we do have the ability to change ourselves and how we relate to the world and all of its phenomena. So you see, stress is simply created by our inability to cope with life with trust and serenity, and does not actually exist in this life other than within each of us.

Since life doesn’t actually force us to be stressed, as we have already determined that stress does not exist in the world other than within, it would seem as if we have a choice here. We can choose to be stressed or not. Hmmm, let’s see, do I want to feel happy and at peace or do I want to be stressed and miserable? I am choosing happiness!

So much of our pain is self-inflicted because of our inability to deal with life on life’s terms and our ignorance of the ways things are. Simply put, we can either accept life or not. With acceptance comes peace and happiness and when we fight the way life is we suffer. I am not telling you that it is always easy to accept life as it is, but it is the answer to peace, which is an opposite of stress.

Maybe your stress is a result of needing to work a lot to pay the bills and still not having enough money or having no time or money to take a much needed vacation. The answer to living stress free in such cases is still the same… acceptance. We need to accept our lot and not compare our lives to those who have more as that makes acceptance more difficult. Instead, look at those who have less than you and watch the gratitude pour in and the stress melt away. Hey, maybe you do need a break to keep your sanity. Part of living stress free also means that we need to know our limits and try our best to rest when necessary, allowing ourselves to take a break and do something fun. Remember, not everything fun and relaxing costs money. I am guessing that we can all find something to do to take care of ourselves that doesn’t require a lot of time or money.

Sometimes we need to make other life changes if we wish to live stress free. For example, if we cannot afford to pay the mortgage in a large house and this is the cause of our stress, perhaps we need to downsize. We can apply this philosophy to many of the material things in our lives as much of the stress people experience today is self-induced financial stress. So, if need be, remove yourself from situations that you seem unable to accept that are causing you stress, financial or otherwise and always recall the following prayer…

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.*

*A version of the Serenity Prayer adapted by Alcoholics Anonymous and other twelve step programs which was based on Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr’s original version.

All else the same, it is certainly easier to be happy with money than without. Maybe money doesn’t buy happiness, but it helps But, we can be happy and poor at the same time. Most, if not all of us have blessings or positive areas of our lives. Granted, some more than others. Whether we choose to focus on our blessings or our problems, is our choice. Worrying how we’re going to pay the bills is understandable, but it’s not helpful. Of course, try your best to find a job if you’re unemployed, maybe more than one job if necessary & cut back on expenses. Perhaps you could sell a few personal items to bring in some extra money or call some creditors to see if they will allow you to skip a payment or two. The point is, do the necessary footwork to help solve your financial woes.

So, now you’re doing everything you can to help yourself get out of your financial mess. This should help you to feel a little better anyway. Now, what about those blessings I mentioned earlier. I’m sure you have them and most of you probably don’t need to look very far to see them. Focus as much as possible on these blessings while continuing to do the next right thing in your life, keeping in mind that we have no control over other peoples decisions. For example, you can apply to 20 jobs this week and not receive one interview. All you can do is your best and then you need to let go of the results. Trust in the way your life is unfolding because you really don’t have a whole lot of control over what others do and the decisions they make that impact your life. Don’t get me wrong here, we need to do the footwork in this life to get where we want to go and many times that effort visibly pays off. You’ll certainly want do your best to convince a potential employer that you’re the person for the job but you ultimately have no control over their final decision.

What we do have control over is our actions, our decisions, our choices. It’s challenging enough to lose a job and struggle to pay the bills. Why add negativity to the mix? Be positive, appreciate your blessings, do the things you couldn’t do while you were working. You’ll be back to work soon enough Would you rather be told that your child, spouse, parents or other loved was dying of cancer or that you lost your job and had to live in a one room apartment? I’ll take the latter any day and be oh so grateful despite the fact that I don’t know how I am going to pay the bills.

If you’re having a difficult time realizing your blessings, make a list of them. Do you have loved ones, a husband or wife, children, parents, siblings, or other family or friends? Do you have a pet that you love and that loves you? Do you presently have a roof over your head? Do you have food in the fridge? Are you or your loved ones healthy? Can you walk or talk? Do you have the physical and mental capacity to get a job? Do you have good memories? Can you smell the air and the flowers? Can you see? Maybe you have some of these blessings in your life, maybe you have them all. I hope you will be able to add other blessings to this list.

We can also take solace in knowing that we are most definitely not alone. Millions of others are in the same financial boat and many are much, much worse off than most of us are. There are children dying right now because they have no food to eat, never mind a computer to use. If you are to the point of not having food to eat, then I am truly sorry and cannot relate to such a level of poverty.

In summary, here’s what we need to do:

1) We need to focus on our blessings, all the positive in our lives, not dwell on our financial problems.
2) Worry is a negative emotion that helps no one, so stop worrying! Let go of your life and trust that it is happening the way it is supposed to happen.
3) Do the necessary footwork, the next right thing to achieve your desired results of your life.
4) Remember…you’re not alone.