- Life is as good or bad as I make it. I always have blessings, whether or not I choose to see them is entirely up to me.

- It’s fascinating just how happy & at peace I am when I am not consumed with me, myself & I.

-When I’m consumed with self, I’m consumed with self-centered fear, which ruins everything. No self, no self-centered fear. Simple really.

- So, it would seem that we need to eliminate this self so that we can be free from fear & at peace. Simple deduction

- No fear, know peace
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- Someone once told me that my life was none of my business.

- If you want to feel good, don’t do things that make you feel bad.

- If you want to change, you have to change.

Do you ever feel as if you can’t turn off your mind and thoughts? Does your mind race preventing you from falling asleep or staying focused on a particular task? Does your mind run on and on to the point where you can’t take it anymore and you wish it would just stop?

Many years ago, this was me. I am happy to say that without medication, through spiritual and psychological training and practice my mind is quite the opposite today. I reveal this information to offer hope to those who suffer from a racing mind. I am not a doctor so I will not offer medical advice and am not suggesting that you stop taking any medication that  was subscribed to you by your doctor. What I am sharing with you is my personal experience with such issues as well as the experiences of others whom I know, who have also experienced similar changes though similar practices.

This slowing down of the mind can happen gradually by changing how we live. Quite often our mind races with regretful thoughts of our wrongful actions. So, start living right and make better decisions resulting in better actions. All of the posts on this site are related to right living and self-improvement.

Many of our racing thoughts may be attributed to our fears. When we live in fear our mind can be consumed with such fears making it difficult to experience a peaceful mind. I have written many posts that discuss fear and its opposite, faith, such as “Let’s Talk About God” and “Letting Go” that may help you to alleviate your fears. To begin practicing this faith in a Higher Power, I would suggest praying when you get up in the morning and at night before you go to bed. If your faith is limited, pray anyway, even if you don’t think it will help. You do not have to believe that anyone is listening and if you do, that’s OK too. What is important in your morning prayers is to decide to put your life in God’s care or in other words, deciding to trust in the way your life will unfold on that day. Of course, you will need to do your best to behave accordingly as your actions can impact your day. You must do all of the footwork necessary on any given day then you need to let go of the results, as you do not have control over other people and what life has in store for you next, acknowledging that living right and doing the necessary footwork can impact life’s results. Besides, you have nothing to worry about because you made a decision in the morning to let your Higher Power run the show. Someone once told me that my life is none of my business. Are you beginning to understand just how much peace there is in trusting in a Higher Power? Not necessarily trusting that everything is going to be great, but trusting in The Way It Is. Please read all of my posts on fear and faith to gather more information that may aid you in your quest for faith and see the Helpful Links page for additional information. During your evening prayers, express gratitude for your blessings that day. These are very brief prayers that can have a dramatic affect on your peace of mind and overall spiritual well-being.

Before or after your evening prayers, I would suggest doing a brief inventory of yourself for that day acknowledging both your right and wrong actions. Continue to do what you did right that day, improving where you can and learning from what you did wrong and try not to repeat such wrong behaviors in the future. We want to learn from our inventories so that we can be better people, continuously improving our thoughts and actions. The more we do what is right, the more peace of mind we will have.

Meditation is another great method you can use to begin to slow and calm your mind. However, this is a vast topic so I will write separate posts about various types of meditation. Anyway, you will find meditation more difficult if you are not living Right. So in summary, you’ll need to live right, work on developing your faith in a Higher Power, pray and perform daily inventories of yourself. If you honestly practice these principles, I would suspect that your mind will begin to slow down and stop racing.

I wish you a peaceful mind.

Have you ever been afraid to let go of a personal relationship, whether it be a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife or even a platonic friendship? Our fears of detaching may be deep rooted and not so easily remedied. Such clinging and obsessive behaviors may appear unseemly to others who do not understand our fears and apparent inability to let go. What can we do to free ourselves of this bondage so that we can be happy?

You may not like my following answer to the question. As I said your fears may be deep rooted and thus require years of psychotherapy to work through. Hopefully though, this time and effort will pay off resulting in a new and improved you, one who no longer hangs on to relationships too long and who can let go gracefully. There may not be a substitute for months or years of hard work with a qualified psychotherapist, that which I am not, so I can’t help you there. Perhaps you could ask your doctor or others whom you trust for a referral. I wouldn’t shop the yellow pages.

There may be another solution or at least an additional solution to your problem with which I can help you to let go of relationships with dignity and grace. If you are presently caught in the prison of obsession and fear then I’m guessing you won’t much want to hear this answer either Faith… you’re lacking faith in a Higher Power. Stay with me now. The reason we have fears is because we do not trust in God or in other words, the way things are. Even if you have deep rooted abandonment issues stemming from when you were a child you could combat them with faith.

Before you can trust in a Higher Power, you’ll need to establish a belief in one, if you haven’t already, and then you’ll need to learn to have faith in that Higher Power. Then, you will be able to let go of your wants, your will and your life and trust in what your Higher or Greater Power has planned for your life. You will be able to gracefully let go of a person or situation because you trust in the way it is, even if the way it is does not include that person with whom you were once involved.

I could go on here but I have written a few other posts about faith and letting go to which I have listed the corresponding links below. I hope you’ll find them helpful and I wish freedom from the bondage of self.

Letting Go
Let’s Talk About God
Get Faith

We may try to control the lives of our loved ones and our intentions may be good. We may tell ourselves that we just don’t want to see anything bad happen to the ones we care about and we’re only trying to protect them. That may be true, but has that ever felt just a little unnatural to you at times? Did you ever feel too involved in someone’s life? You also risk having that person whose life you are trying to control, rebel against you and do exactly what you didn’t want them to do in the first place hurting themselves and you.

What about sickness and death of those we care about and ourselves? We have some control over our health but we do not have absolute control over it? We certainly have little or no control over other people’s health. Sickness and death are part of this life and these bodies that we have and there is nothing we can do about that. It’s just the way it is.

Instead of spending so much of our time and energy trying to control that which we cannot, why not just take care of ourselves and try to help other people without actually trying to control them? Wouldn’t that make more sense and earn us more respect from those unfortunate people whose lives we have been trying to control? Think about how much more peaceful you would be if you simply accepted that which you could not change as opposed to fighting. Because that’s what you’re doing when you try to bend and control life to suit your needs so that the Almighty You can have his/her way, you’re fighting. What do you think of that?

You may be familiar with the following prayer originally written by theologian Reinhold Neibuhr. You may be more familiar with the altered version adopted by AA but I have quoted the prayer in its original form, to the best of my knowledge.

“God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.”

I wish you peace and happiness.

This is not that complicated. If grasping and a lack of acceptance of the way life is causes much of our suffering, then not grasping and accepting life as it is should relieve us of that suffering. Extremely simple, but simple and easy are not the same.

If we wish to be free from fear, we need to learn to let go of that which we covet. How do we do that? The first time I heard the phrase, let go, I asked myself, “let go of what and to whom”? I learned that I needed to let go of my will, my desires and my life to the care of a Higher Power. I first needed to have faith in a Higher Power before I could entrust my life to It, so this faith had to come first. I discuss finding faith in other posts and I have listed other sources that may help you with your faith on the Helpful Links page. You may also find assistance through various advertisers on this site.

Once you possess enough faith in a Higher Power or God if you like, you can begin to let go. You can let go in prayer and meditation and throughout the course of the day. Whenever you feel the desire to control someone or a situation that cannot realistically be controlled by you, let go and trust that everything will work out the way it is supposed to. When you feel afraid of losing someone you love or something that you possess, let go knowing there is a Greater Force in charge and that that Force is not you. Bringing such fear to our lives and the lives of others in not beneficial to anyone involved. Let go!

The more we learn to let go of our life and everything and everyone in it, the more peaceful and happy we become. Letting go doesn’t imply not caring or loving, on the contrary. The less fear we bring to a relationship with another person or to a situation, the more we can fully appreciate that person or situation as we are not influenced by fear. Our feelings and decisions will be healthy and pure. Our love and compassion for others will flourish and grow because we are not filled with self-centered fear. Take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Doesn’t this sound like a great way to live?

The past lives in our minds. We can stimulate memories of the past with photos, videos, and other material items left from the past, but the time of the past has gone forever. Every second, every moment that we experience immediately becomes the past and we therefore can only revisit that time in our minds. I’m not saying to forget your loved ones who have passed on or your wonderful memories. You’ll certainly want to recall situations from your past that you may have learned from that may help you in some way today. The past can be a great comfort and learning tool for the present. But this can get tricky if you think too much about it. For example, let’s say you remember putting your hand on a hot stove and burning yourself. If you think about putting your hand on a hot stove again, you’ll know that if you do, you’ll get burned and you also may recall your initial experience of being burned. So, do you really need to recall in your mind that past, initial experience of being burned to know not to put your hand on a hot stove or does your mind in the present know not to do it because it already learned what not to do immediately after the initial burn? See what I mean? We can complicate this if we choose. So, let’s keep it simple. The point is, be careful not to justify living in the past because you think it’s necessary to help you today. As in my example, the mind in the present knew what not to do. It didn’t need to revisit the past.

Let’s talk a little more about why it’s important to live in the moment. We have our mind, body and spirit in this moment. We cannot say the same of the past and future. We can experience this very moment fully and completely. This moment is life at it’s fullest. Accepting life at this moment is not always easy, especially at moments of tragedy, sorrow, pain and death. But what other healthy choice do we have?

In most other circumstances, living in the moment makes life much easier than trying to deal with the past and future as well. The past is gone and cannot be changed, so why dwell in it? The future is unknown and out of our control, so why worry about it. Of course, we need to do our part by living right today so as to ensure, as much as possible, a better tomorrow. How many times have you ruined the moment because you are worried about the future? Life becomes much easier when we narrow it down to this moment.

There is not a magic answer to help you to live in the moment. It is actually quite simple but it may take practice and time before you get good at it. The body is the easiest to connect with the present so let’s work with that. If you find yourself wandering into another time in your mind, stop & look where your feet are. That’s where you are now. If your sitting, not standing, check to see where something else is. This is an exercise to bring you back to the moment. You can also practice a form of mindfulness meditation. Again, this is very simple. Be aware of whatever you may be doing at the time. If you’re eating, be mindful of you’re the movements of using the fork, putting the food to your mouth, chewing and then swallowing. Break life’s everyday activities down into small increments and be mindful of whatever it is that you are doing at that moment. This will help get you in the habit of living in the present and will allow you to fully experience life’s simple everyday activities. If you are fully engaged in this moment, it becomes difficult to regret the past and fear the future.

Don’t be discouraged if you find yourself still spending much of your day not in the present. Just keep bringing your mind back to this moment when you realize it’s gone somewhere else. Try to be fully and completely with whatever you are doing at this moment. Most, if not all of my fears that are present in this moment are actually fears of the future. Fears of losing what I have or not getting what I want. So, if I can stay in the present, my fears that may generate from the past and project into the future, will not exist.

Perhaps you already have a strong faith in God, practice an organized religion and rely on that God for support. Or maybe you were raised Catholic, Protestant or Jewish but no longer connect to such a belief system and don’t see another way. Maybe you used to have a strong faith in God but for various reasons, lost that faith or are angry at God. Or maybe you never believed in a Higher Power at all. Whatever your belief is or isn’t, as long as you are not harming others, I do not pass judgment. There are those who do judge other’s beliefs and believe that their way is the only way and everyone else is dammed. Thank God this is my blog and I have sole comment moderation power so no one else here will need to read any judging

Let me explain why it is so important to have faith in a Higher Power or God. When there is ultimate faith, there can be no fear. Since we’re all human beings, we probably will never experience constant, unwavering faith so, there will be fears. We have fear, whether we recognize it or not. I’m guessing that most people are often afraid and don’t realize it. Many times fear presents itself subtly and shows itself through our shortcomings or character flaws. It shows itself in how we react, cope and handle life’s everyday situations. When I am not right with my faith, I do not roll with life’s everyday occurrences. I fight more and accept less. It could be something rather insignificant such as, I have to wait in line at the store or someone cuts me off on the road or the TV goes out…well, that’s not insignificant When I am right spiritually, I accept life as it comes much easier than when my spiritual condition is suffering.

As I mentioned, many of our shortcomings are fear based. So, the less faith we have, the more fear we have. The more fear we have, the more faults we have. The more faults we have, the more difficult it is to be in our own bodies and for others to be around us.

If we have faith in a Greater Power, we will trust what is and what will be. We will not fear the way life unfolds, even when life doesn’t go our way. We will have faith that everything is happening the way it is supposed to happen or we will simply be able to accept the way it is. This trust translates to acceptance and when we accept, there is peace. When there is peace, there is happiness. Make sense?

In regards to fear and shortcomings, the same principles apply. The more faith we have, the less fear we have. The less fear we have, the fewer faults we have. The fewer faults we have, the more peaceful we become. The more peaceful we are, the happier we are. Simple, right?

This will conclude Part I of this post. See Get Faith for the conclusion.

There are some basic guidelines that we need to follow to feel good and be happy. While reading this post, some of you may be thinking, “well, of course, I know that” or “duh” But think about how many times you do things that you know you shouldn’t do, but you do them anyway. The point is that sometimes knowledge is only part of
the answer. For many of you, the simplicity of the information in this post may prove to be very enlightening.

Eating and sleeping properly can have a tremendous impact on one’s mood. I’m not much different than how I was when I was a baby. If I am tired and hungry, I become irritable. It’s difficult to be happy when irritable. It took me years to learn how much a good night’s sleep positively impacts my mood the next day. I didn’t realize
this until I began to routinely sleep enough at night. Not a split sleep schedule, but a good, solid nights sleep. I spent years not putting much importance on when and how much I slept which hindered my ability to cope with life positively. I feel better physically, mentally and spiritually when properly rested. My patience and
understanding of others greatly increases. It’s just easier to be happy when properly rested.

Vince Lombardi said “fatigue makes cowards of us all”. I notice that I experience more fear when I am tired. This fear may be subtle. You may not necessarily feel more afraid when you are fatigued, but your faults or character flaws may be more apparent. If you dig deep enough, you’ll probably notice that most, if not all of these character flaws, stem from fear. It took me a while to realize this, so if you don’t see this right away, be patient and try to always maintain self-awareness. I’ll talk more about fear and self-awareness in other posts.

Now comes the discipline part. You’ll need to have the willingness to make sleeping properly a top priority in your life. I am not you or your doctor so I don’t know how much sleep you need. If you don’t know either, I suggest consulting your doctor or sleep professional. I know I need 7-8 hours per night to function at my best. I can get less, but it will catch up with me. So, do what you need to do. You may need to miss your favorite late night TV show but if your not getting enough sleep, you’re going to have to find ways to sleep more either by going to bed earlier or getting up later. Figure it out, be responsible, prioritize, being careful not to negatively impact something else of importance in your life while trying to get more sleep. For example, I’m not telling you to go to work an hour late because you need to sleep. I know for me that a proper nights rest needs to be near the top of my priority list. I am a better father, husband, worker and person when I am not tired. Others shouldn’t suffer because I don’t know how to regulate my sleep.

I am not afraid of food, so keeping me fed is not so difficult, although this wasn’t always the case. In my late teens and early twenty’s, I would frequently wait too long to eat between meals which would cause me to become very agitated and irritable. Not only did I feel terrible but whoever was around had to put up with me. It wasn’t fun for anyone. My chemistry has since changed and I can go longer periods without eating and still maintain my charming demeanor:) But, I certainly feel, think and react to life better when I eat at proper times throughout the day. This is not a health food post so I am not going to get into what to eat or how much. I just know it’s important to eat regular meals so as not to ever be too hungry as it will probably negatively impact your mood and make it more difficult to be happy.

Eating at regular intervals and sleeping enough, two very basic and simple functions that you can maintain as a foundation, on your quest to happiness.

If there are some of you who cannot afford to eat regular meals or have to work three jobs and can’t get proper sleep, my thoughts are with you and I wish you peace and happiness.