Awareness is important for a couple of reasons. As I just mentioned, we need to be aware of what we want to change so that we can change it. Usually we do not want to change that which is good about us, but rather we wish to change that which we do not like about ourselves. These traits or behaviors that we wish to change may in fact be considered as bad by us or society or perhaps what we wish to change is just something that we don’t like about ourselves and may be neither good nor bad. Either way, awareness of what we wish to change is necessary.

Awareness is also important because many times we change just by becoming aware. For example, let’s say that you have an intimacy problem, of which you are not yet aware, and it has affected all of your close personal relationships. Every time you start to get very close to someone you begin to act differently, all of your faults begin to appear which ends up costing you the relationship. This is just a summary, of course So, you think maybe you need to talk to at therapist because for some unknown reason, you can’t maintain a close, healthy relationship and when you’re in one, you’re not happy. You start talking about your childhood and your relationships with your mother and father and through your talking and your therapist’s help, you become aware of the nature of these relationships and the feelings that they caused you then and now. You also begin to become aware of just how the relationships with your parents affected your relationships as an adult. Aah, you begin to see the connection very clearly and you find that your next relationship is different. There is a sort of freedom from the typical faults that used to arise in your relationships. And when you do notice any unhealthy behaviors, you can talk about them, because now you are aware of why you think and act in such ways, until finally, you learn to how to choose healthy people in which to have a relationship and how to have a healthy relationship with them. Sure, there will be some practice necessary to begin to have lasting, healthy relationships but the bulk of the change occurs as a result of simple awareness.

Here’s another quick example of how awareness can facilitate change. You get gas at the same gas station every week. You know there is another gas station across the street behind the trees but you’ve never gone there. One day you notice that the trees were cut down and now you can get a better look at the place. Wow! You notice that the gas is 50 cents per gallon less over there. It is a beautiful gas station, a good brand name and just across the street from the one where you normally get gas. Now that you have become aware of the cheaper gas across the street, does it really take much effort to change stations? The main reason for the change in gas stations will be the awareness of the lower price. Now that you are aware, it is difficult not to change.

So, you see, awareness is a key component to change. Sometimes awareness of the way things are is obvious and sometimes it takes some digging. But is important to be aware of the way things are, including us, not only so that we may change but because there is truth in awareness of the way it is and living true beats living a lie. We see the world and ourselves differently through our awareness and because of this awareness we are now different…we have changed.

- Life is as good or bad as I make it. I always have blessings, whether or not I choose to see them is entirely up to me.

- It’s fascinating just how happy & at peace I am when I am not consumed with me, myself & I.

-When I’m consumed with self, I’m consumed with self-centered fear, which ruins everything. No self, no self-centered fear. Simple really.

- So, it would seem that we need to eliminate this self so that we can be free from fear & at peace. Simple deduction

- No fear, know peace
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- Someone once told me that my life was none of my business.

- If you want to feel good, don’t do things that make you feel bad.

- If you want to change, you have to change.

You may need to discipline Billy somewhat since he is at your house without us at times. So that you may better understand & apply the same principles while he is in your care, here’s the way I want Billy to be raised, keeping in mind the methods must be age appropriate.

I do not believe in punishment for most, if not all people, I believe in consequences. I want Billy to learn that there are consequences for his actions in this life.

I do not want Billy to grow up afraid of anything. He can learn to be cautious & wise in situations where he can be harmed but he does not need to be afraid.

I want to encourage him to learn to do the right thing not because he is afraid to do wrong but simply because it is right. I want him to learn that doing right feels better than doing wrong. I believe that living in this way will build more character & self-esteem than simply not doing things for fear of repercussion. It’s an overall more positive way to live.

I do not want him to be afraid of me. I hope he respects me, not fears me. If he is afraid of me then I am doing something wrong.

I do not want to yell at him & most definitely, hitting or spanking is completely unacceptable. Violence & anger breeds violence & anger. I do not need to yell or act in anger when teaching him right from wrong, proper manners or giving him a consequence for his actions.

I want him to be aware of his actions & learn to apologize & make amends when wrong. He, perhaps more importantly, needs to know how proud we are of him & is to be praised for behaving well.

Acceptance is the way to peace and happiness and the answer to our problems. We must try to convey this to him not just with words but more importantly by example. He can learn to freak out, cry, and get angry, scream, yell, etc. when something does not go his way or he can learn to accept life as it comes with serenity. There is no better way to teach this than by example. So, please try not to react negatively, in anger or hostility around him when something doesn’t go your way or for any other reason. By acting in such ways, you would only be teaching him to cope with life in the same manner.

Please do not freak out if he spills something or dents a wall. These are not things worth being upset about. I want to teach him to be neat, clean & take care of his things but I want him to know that these sorts of material concerns are not what are most important in this life & are not worth being upset about.

I want him to be around positive, happy people and energy. Example is one of the greatest teachers. He is a child and any negative behavior he is exposed to can affect him for many years to come. I hope this helps.

From my personal experience, this is a gradual process, so don’t get discouraged if the change comes slowly. It took years to develop our present thought processes and it will probably take years to change them. This doesn’t mean that you cannot make immediate noticeable changes but considering that your thought processes are a vast area that run deep, you cannot expect to change everything about the way think overnight.

So, just how do we go about changing the ways in which we think? Well, we learn new ways to think which will replace the old ones. Basically, we brainwash ourselves. That’s right, brainwash. The term “brainwash” tends to have negative connotations associated with it but for those of us whose thought processes are less than healthy, we could use a good brain wash.

I am guessing that not all of your thought processes require changing so decide which ones are positive and which ones are negative and harmful and therefore should be changed. Most, if not all, of those ways in which you think, feel and act that you do not like, can be changed for the better. This article is not so much about what you need to change but rather to let you know that you can change how you think, it is possible. I mention not only thoughts but feelings and actions as well because our feelings and actions start with a thought. You can immediately change the ways in which you act despite the usual thought processes. The sayings “move a muscle, change a thought” and “don’t think yourself into right action, act yourself into right thinking” apply here. So, there is a good start. You can begin to reprogram your thoughts by acting differently. This will take a lot of effort and you will most certainly fail at times so strive for progress.

It is impossible for me to address all of the thought processes that everyone wants to change so you’ll need to take a look at yourself, your thoughts, feelings and behaviors and determine what you like and what you don’t like about yourself. Perhaps you can make a simple pros and cons list and if you’re really brave, you can ask someone close, who you trust, to help you with your inventory. As I mentioned, specific actions can be immediately addressed but just how do we change our overall thought process? Although you will surely find specific ways in which you think, feel and act that you wish to address, you may find that a general spiritual and psychological overhaul will work best. I have found that most of the ways in which I used to think were more of a symptom of an overall spiritual and psychological deficiency. Considering this, if we only attempt to treat specific symptoms of such a deficiency, then we never really treat the cause of our unhealthy thought processes. Sure, you’ll be able to work on specific areas too but you may find that developing a healthy spiritual and psychological condition which will fill your heart and mind with new, healthy ideas and thoughts will result in new thought processes and a new outlook on life.

This site was designed specifically for this reason, to help you find peace and happiness through spiritual and psychological principles. Of course this site is not the only resource for such help and guidance. I list other various forms of self-help in some of my posts as well as on the links page. Of course, I recommend my site but here are a few other options. I recommend a good psychotherapist to aid in your self-improvement. Perhaps you can find a religion that suits you. There are many self-improvement books and websites available that you may find useful. These are just a few ideas to help get you on your way to reprogramming your current thought processes. This will take effort, determination and vigilance but know that you can change your thought processes if you so desire.

I also realized that in some posts, where I don’t discuss an actual solution to a problem or a remedy for self-improvement, that I may only be creating awareness of the way things are, perhaps shedding some light on a situation which was not seen as it truly is. And sometimes this awareness is all that we need to change. It may not be necessary to seek other answers because the answer lies within the awareness. Let me give you some examples. I am guessing that most of you have never actually put your hand on a red hot stove and held it there for a couple of minutes. Sure, you’ve probably burned yourself many times but most likely, not on purpose and you now know what it feels like to be burned. So, you are aware that putting your hand on a red hot stove for two minutes would be an insane act, resulting in extreme pain, right? You know that you will be burned, yes? Do you need more answers or explanation or is just being aware that you will be burned enough? You’ve probably never jumped out of an airplane without a parachute either but simply being aware that if you did you will die prevents you from doing it. You don’t need any more information to prevent you from jumping, do you? Your awareness of what will happen to you is all that is required enabling you to act in a rational and healthy manner.

Just being aware of the way things are can, in many cases, be all that we need to change our behaviors. Once we see the truth, realize our motives and understand our actions, thoughts and feelings, we can begin to change. Don’t get too exited as more often than not, awareness is not enough and your awareness of reality is only the first step to change. Once we’re aware, the work begins, in which case I will try to provide specific actions to specific problems, but again, even though there may be certain things you can do to address a specific problem, the best results typically come as a result of a complete and balanced spiritual and psychological regiment.

Balance seems to be easier to maintain than to gain back. Once we get going, we may find it difficult to stop until we achieve our goal. So, does this mean we must press on with no balance, getting more miserable by the day because we just cannot stop until we reach our destination? We could choose that path or we could choose the path of spiritual and psychological well-being always keeping them as our top priorities while still pursuing our goals. Sure, it may take a bit longer to achieve our goals but we would certainly enjoy the journey more if we maintained a balance in our lives consisting of time with family and friends, spiritual and psychological practice, fun and relaxation. The hard part is to get off the crazy train and get back to our balance. Just how do we stop the obsession?

There is no easy, magical answer here. We just have to do it, the choice is yours. Do you want to be that person who will forsake happiness and family, the raising of children or time spent with your wife or elderly parents because you have a goal to achieve and you will only take it easy once you achieve that goal? The problem with that is that you will be missing out on so much life has to offer, you may neglect and hurt those closest to you and you will not be spiritually and psychologically healthy and happy. And, there is a good chance that when you’ve achieved one goal you will just move right on to the next and find yourself in the same position yet again. The choice is your. All we have is this moment. Life is short and tomorrow may never come, so I ask you…do you want to be happy today?

I share this information with you to let you know that you are not alone in your imperfections. Your imperfections and faults may not be the same as mine, but be sure that you are not alone as others can relate to your deficiencies.

So I seem to be off my spiritual game. The good news is that I now catch this fairly quickly as I am so accustomed to feeling good and acting appropriately, that when I do fall short of such expectations, I notice it almost immediately. Now that I am aware of my spiritual regression, which is the cause of my uncomfortable behavior, I need to promptly get back to doing what has brought me spiritual and psychological well-being. Most of the work I do and how I practice is reflected in my writings. I do have a few personal spiritual remedies that I practice of which I have not revealed on this site but instead at times speak generally and through examples of religion and other self-help practices. I know from experience that after a few days back on the spiritual path, I will again be experiencing and demonstrating peace and happiness. I realize that I need to pick up my spiritual practice so as to stop feeling and acting in ways of which I am not pleased but understand that I have not stopped my spiritual and psychological practice during this period of regression. The point is, is that I have not been working hard enough. In order for me to remain happy, healthy and at peace, I need to work harder than I have been working.

Read all of the posts on this site and find what works for you. In many of these posts, I also suggest other help sources that may aid you in your quest for happiness. There are many forms of spiritual and psychological help available to us.

Next time you find yourself talking about another person, honestly assess whether you are speaking positively or negatively about that person. Sometimes we may even say that are intentions are not to speak poorly of someone while we are speaking poorly of them. If you realize that you are not speaking positively about another, simply stop speaking negatively about them and honestly assess the motives behind your words. You’ll notice that I have used the word honestly more than once. It is not always easy to see our true motives and even when get a glimpse of them, we don’t always want to probe deeper as it can be difficult to face our impure motives.

Speaking negatively about other people contradicts our spiritual way of living. It goes against the natural order of connection between people. Negativity in any form is usually damaging to our spiritual and psychological states. Speaking negatively of others creates a separation between us and our fellows and emphasizes our self-centeredness, both of which can be damaging to our spiritual and psychological states.

Not speaking negatively about others would seem to be an easy practice once we recognize that we’re doing it. All we need to do is stop talking bad about others, simple, right? This is another of those simple but not easy practices. Once you become aware of just how often you speak poorly of others and discover your motives for doing so, I think you’ll be surprised as to just how often you do this to inflate your self by criticizing another’s character. It may not be so easy to stop knocking others when your motives for doing so are to inflate our own egos. If you find this change difficult and you continue to talk negatively about others, despite your efforts, do not be discouraged. Keep trying and continue your general spiritual practice as the healthier we are spiritually and psychologically, the less we will need to inflate our egos and the easier it will become not to speak poorly of others.

I write this in the midst of being humbled yet again as a result of my own behaviors. The spiritual principles that I write about on this site may describe perfect ideals and I do practice everything that I write, but as I was reminded of tonight, I still have a lot of work to do as my spirituality and actions fall quite short of the perfect ideals of which I write.

As we continue on our spiritual and psychological journeys, although we may strive for perfect ideals, we must remember that we are not perfect and will most likely never be perfect. This does not mean that we cannot strive for the perfect ideals of spiritual principles, however, so as not to be discouraged, we must remember that practice makes progress, not perfection.

When you notice that you are thinking negatively, try to stop the negative thoughts and if necessary, think of something positive instead. If you find yourself involved in a negative conversation, excuse yourself from the discussion or turn the conversation into a positive one. The awareness of your own negativity will open your eyes to the negativity of others as well.

Assuming that you want to be happy and peaceful, you will need to reduce or eliminate your negativity and become more positive. Simply by reducing your negativity, you will become more positive. Of course, you need to want to stop being negative. If you say that you want to be happy but you still want to be negative, then I believe that you are in for an uphill climb and I’m not sure how much I can help you.

This few-day exercise that I am suggesting is only the beginning and is intended as an opportunity to shed some light on your negativity. If you don’t notice any negativity in yourself in those few days then continue with your spiritual practice and try the exercise again in a month or so and continue this pattern until you become aware of your negativity. Maybe you are truly are a positive person and negativity is not one of your shortcomings. If this is the case, by this time you should now be quite aware of it Maintaining positive thoughts, feelings and speech is to be practiced over this lifetime. The more aware we become of our negativity, hopefully, the more unacceptable we will find it and the more desire we will have to eliminate it.

Certainly, a positive attitude and outlook on life will develop as a result of spiritual and psychological practice. But, as this exercise suggests, sometimes we need to consciously shed some light onto our shortcomings so that we can begin to work on eliminating them and improving ourselves. My guess is that the more positive you become, the less acceptable you will be of your own negativity and the negativity of others and you may not wish to socialize with negative people other than to help them and to be a positive example. I would love to hear about how you did with the exercise.