How do you feel after you react to a situation with anger? Does anger make you feel powerful and in control or embarrassed and out of control or both? However anger makes you feel and whether you know it or not, anger is not conducive to peace and happiness.

We can be angry for a variety of reasons both past and present. We may have a great deal of anger inside as a result of how we were raised. This anger can be directed at your parents, at yourself, at other people or at the world in general. Many times our anger stems from our dislike of ourselves. When we are angry at ourselves, we take out that anger on others as well. Being angry can feel powerful, as if we are protected by our anger and in a way we are protected. It is difficult to feel other feelings when we are angry so if you do not wish to be hurt by others or the world, if you do not wish to feel other feelings, then your anger can act as a shield against those feelings. The problem with this philosophy is that we cannot feel all of the good feelings that life has to offer such as happiness, joy, peace, sympathy, empathy, compassion, gratitude and love, to name a few. Our decisions and therefore our actions will also be skewed by our anger. How many times have you made a decision when you were angry only to regret that decision once the anger subsided? Good decisions do not typically come from an angry heart and mind.

Those of you who are filled with anger will need to work at resolving your anger issues as reacting to situations with anger may be commonplace for you as you are angry most of the time. The information on this site can be very helpful in reducing your anger but you may also need psychotherapy to get to the root of your anger so that you can begin to heal. Or perhaps speaking to a pasture, rabbi or priest about what it is that is causing your anger may be helpful. There are many help sources that can help us get to the bottom of our anger and eliminate it and our outbursts.

There will be those of you who are not terribly angry most of the time and who are not using anger as defense but tend to react to certain situations with angry outbursts. You may also experience a powerful feeling from being angry but again, anger is not conducive to peace and happiness so why not learn to stop reacting in such a way? I’m sure many of you feel embarrassed and ashamed when you act or react with anger, especially in a public setting. What do you think acting in a way that elicits shame does to your self-esteem? When we behave in ways that we know are not right and cause us to feel bad, we lower our self-image and increase our anger towards ourselves and anger will just breed more anger. So, as you can see, this can be a vicious cycle.

We can work generally on our spiritual and psychological conditions which will naturally decrease our anger and increase our peace which should help to reduce our angry reactions. We can also make a conscious effort through awareness to change how we react to life. Once we recognize that anger is not good and that it only causes harm to ourselves and others, we are no longer acting out of ignorance so we now have a choice as to how we wish to act. We may continue to have angry outbursts despite that we are trying to change. It is important not to get down on yourself as change may take time and may be gradual, not immediate. What sense would it make to get angry at your self for being angry? Be patient but vigilant in your efforts. Remember how reacting with anger makes you feel and the next time you are in a situation and you feel that anger coming on, choose to react differently. Perhaps you can walk away, smile or count to ten. Restraint of pen and tongue goes a long way. There are many books as well that can help you learn techniques to better deal with your anger. I am a believer in gradual progress through spiritual and psychological practice and a good psychotherapist can do wonders.

Tags: Anger, Awareness, Behavior